Tashie’s Alternate Reality

The amusing thing is when we got home and checked the mail - the official appointment time to see the USCIS for our immigration processing was in the mail and the appointment was set for the 17th July - so we had to fill in some paperwork and send it back with a letter saying we would be out of the country and could they please reschedule for after the 28th - so in a way i’m glad that happened before we left.

For my friends who read this thank you all for your good wishes, thoughts, prayers and love - i’m sorry that i haven’t been online much to talk to you all - things have been rather turbulent here as i’m sure you can imagine, swinging from incredible highs like our wedding to incredible lows like this in less than a few seconds.  Please know that the Island isn’t going anywhere, the pads weren’t removed for “financial” reasons, so feel free to earn on them - I know it’s very quiet there now but hopefully with out new little branched out group we can have some more parties and stuff and grow in a healthy way with just friends and sift the shit out - Love you all and hopefully I’ll be able to chat more soon.

Once upon a time a long time ago, in a land far away - a newbie walked into a club, a little lost, with a hundred and one questions and the passion to learn. He wasn’t like the other newbies who’s sole desire was to get a skin, some flex hair, a cool wardrobe and a working penis - he was smart, intelligent, passionate about what he believed in, inquisitive, hilariously amusing and someone my heart reached out to. He became someone very important in my life. He became one of the dearest friends i’ve ever had. Someone i poured my soul out to, shared things about myself with, who supported me, gave me strength, made me laugh - someone very safe to love in a very healthy way of friendship.

We’d sit for hours in a sandpit, talking about building, textures, making skins, we’d go shopping together, show each other our creations. His time schedule and mine were such that when none of my family or friends were online, the boring hours of my nights when i was alone were now able to be shared with this wonderful friend. Sometimes we’d have laughed and chatted so much that hours would have passed by without us even noticing.

He was someone who referred to me to other people as his “best friend” in secondlife and I certainly felt he was one of mine too. I tried to support, be enthusiastic, encourage and put a smile on his face every day.

When I moved to the USA my time zone shift obviously had a large effect on things, but instead of his wife working from 5am in the morning her shift changed to night times, so we “should” have been able to hang out the same after his work day was over - this really didnt seem to happen and the time we’d catch up seemed less and less.

Now over this time we’d had a few arguments about little things, one time he referred to another friend as his “replacement Tashie” for when I wasnt online - this actually hurt like hell and really pissed me off - you dont have people in your life that replace others (or so I thought). Granted no one is saying you can only have one friend and that they will fulfill ALL your friendship needs - but you dont “replace” a friend with another - that’s a slap in the face.

Another friend of mine posted a clip on his blog - I watched it and cried - the relevance was overpowering, and I share it here with you all Friendship

So, my previous blog about backstabbing and bullshit and my final comment of wondering whether the friendship was in it’s death throws or not, is answered. Sometimes when someone hurts you so badly it’s easier to be angry instead of upset, it’s easier to say words to push them away so you don’t have to deal with them and the hurt they cause again - because their hurt still jabs away at your soul when you find out from other’s that he’d said the same things to them and been as disloyal with them as he was with me. Turns out my “newbie” best friend was nothing more than a lying player and more fool me for placing my trust and love in a place where he could kick them.

I’m annoyed - friendships are supposed to be a two way thing.

I’m not someone that makes “great” friends easily - i have alot of acquaintances but a great friend is made over time, with trust and honesty and the sharing of intimate feelings/details that you’d not disclose to just anyone. Someone you love and who loves you back.

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The following conversation happened today in the Linden Town Hall Questions group - i have to say, i was completely shocked by the reaction of some. To say bigot just doesn’t even cut it.

In brief they believe that EVERY child AV is actually a pedophile and that furies having sex is actually people fantasizing about beastiality. I hate to disappoint them but fido is very very safe from the vast majority LMFAO.

Now while i’m completely against “childplay” and the pedophile thing is something that fills me with disgust, rage, revulsion and the desire to kill - i’m well aware that people “roleplay” children without any sexual undertones. Do i think it’s odd? Very Do i tolerate it in my club? No Does it make my skin crawl? Yes but if they aren’t sexual, they are over 18 years of age in real life, other than being rather difficult to understand psychologically why anyone would want to play a child if it’s not hurting anyone… so be it. Should it have ever been a part of Secondlife? probably not but i’m not about to bundle all child AV’s up and label them as pedo’s.
Now to the fury thing… firstly some of my dearest friends are furies, do i think for a minute they are off porking the family dog or cat at every opportune moment? NO - being a fury does not, in my mind, mean that animals are unsafe in anyway, some plushie toys might be, but we wont go there! Not all furies are gay, not all furies are male, not all furies are practising beastiality - and the woman’s comments about a human finding a fury attractive or wanting to be sexually active with them being sick blows my mind…. a person’s mind, humour, intelligence, character, their inner being is what makes them sexy and makes you fall in love with them - NOT their outer shell, be it fur, newbie skin, bad hair, and i mean this in SL and RL!

Anyway the conversation is as follows:

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[19:13] Tashie Oddfellow: hi there just wondering if you’re on line
[19:13] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:13] Tashie Oddfellow: we are having an event this weekend- that 75% of anything we raise will go to the Cancer Society - Relay for Life - just wondering if the best way to put that money in is via the donation boxes we have here on our Island

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And so begins our tale…

> [tashie@iinet.net.au - Fr 26. Jan 2007, 21:34:32]:

>
> Asked in Help Request
> [21:31] Tashie Oddfellow: i’m unable to do searches, so i’ll ask here, is there any concierge linden online to assist me, our SIM is lagging horribly, and has all day regardless of restarting it, and i’d like to know if we are sharing a server with other high traffic SIM’s
>
> Response was to email you guys. I did IM Guy Linden but i’m guessing he didn’t see my IM or was too busy… So ya we’ve had foul FPS all day, we’ve restarted, nothing seems to work, any chance you could tell me what angle i should be holding my tongue in today
>
> Tashie Oddfellow
>

—–Original Message—–
From: via RT [mailto:concierge@secondlife.com]
Sent: Tuesday, 6 February 2007 9:06 PM
To: tashie@
Subject: [rt.lindenlab.com #] Wagaland

Hello Tashie,

thanks for your inquiry! Wagaland seems to have 2 problems at the moment.
1) It has a bunch of very heavy scores in top scripts at the moment:

Script time (ms) Physics score Task name Owner name
0.926 - Campfire Set Tashie Oddfellow
0.854 - Multi Pose&Animation Stand Tashie Oddfellow
0.67 - SLX Terminal v1.3.1 et SLXTerminal Bigwig
0.609 - Lapdance Table Campball-2 Tashie Oddfellow
0.471 - Dance Pad 4 Tashie Oddfellow
0.465 - Dance Pad 6 Tashie Oddfellow
0.455 - Ginko Financial ATM GF Ambassador
0.398 - Raffle Ball-2.2 Tashie Oddfellow
0.396 - Belle Belle- Arne Toilet and Backside Tashie Oddfellow

—
2) Avatars in general, right now I see 64 avatars in Wagaland, which do have a severe impact on the overall region performance. As a sideeffect of that, in case time dilation drops, people might have problems to move in your region. If that happens, they’re likely to collide with a lot of items they don’t intend to. That causes several issues for the phyisics engine as it is at the moment. You can lift that weight of the shoulders of your island by disabling Colliders in Region/Estate tools. The other regions on the server have 0 - 2 avatars on them at the moment.

Best regards,
Ethan Linden
Concierge

(Sent on the 6th Feb 2007)
Jack,

Please we need to talk about this, I sent my request on the 26th Jan - the response I get is on the 6th February - that’s 11 days!

The information provided is not pertinent at all. The scripts listed are not heavy, they are all under 1.0 and… The information is 11 days too late, I wasn’t asking about information today I was asking for help 11 days ago.

You know I’m not a dumbass, I listen to what you’ve told me, we know our SIM like the back of our hands as best we can, we know about bloating and having to restart our server when we’ve been “bad” and had too many AV’s here, I’m not asking for the moon here, I was asking for information (once again) as to who we were sharing a server with, was there a reason for our condition. I don’t need to be told about the bad/high scripts, I can see that too, and I understand it.

I’m sorry I get so “passionate” but sometimes I feel like I’m being treated like the local retard.

Kate/Tashie

Jack has said we could discuss the issues i had on the 13th Feb, the morning before the concierge party - i made sure i was there, however, he must have been busy because was a no-show.

During the party our SIM crashed a number of times see http://www.chataddicts.info/stats

2007-02-13 05:20:47
2007-02-13 17:02:58
2007-02-13 17:29:14
2007-02-13 17:50:59
2007-02-13 18:03:03
2007-02-13 20:09:15

I IM’d Jack during the party to find out which concierge might be online for assistance and I asked in concierge information group if any were available - they weren’t at the time, i figured Jack could see i was having issues, on duty or not if he felt it was needed he’d offer some sort of help - he didn’t.

On the 21st Feb 2007 I finally got to speak with Jack about the issue - to be honest it wasn’t a “satisfactory” resolution. The fact the information that was provided was completely irrelevant didn’t seem to of such a huge concern to him as it was to me, the fact that noone had been on duty to answer my question also didn’t seem to be hugely concerning (even though there’s so many new concierge lindens now) and the fact that it took 11 days when we’d already been told by Joe Linden that we should have a response within 24 hours also didn’t seem overly concerning. By the end of the discussion, *I* felt like a naughty little girl who shouldn’t complain because it’s “bleeding edge” technology and i’m lucky to be part of it. LUCKY MY ARSE - i’m paying for this!

It appears that Linden Lab’s statement at www.lindenlab.com

Your World. Your Imagination.

Join a burgeoning new online society, shaped entirely by its residents. Here you can be or do anything. Explore an ever-changing 3D landscape. Meet new and exciting people. Create a masterpiece - or an empire. Second Life is yours - to imagine, invent, and inhabit.

• Explore a boundless world of surprise and adventure.
• Create anything you can imagine.
• Connect with new and exciting people.
• Compete for fame, fortune, or victory.

just isn’t valid, they cant accommodate my imagination, I was told that they had two options when making secondlife, to limit what we could do within their boundaries or to let us have full reign and feel the effects of our creativity - I guess the thing is, this isn’t really made public when you sign up - noone told me when I signed up that an Island could only really have about 6k worth of script, no more than 40 Avatars, and other such things - we found out ourselves … AFTER we’d spent enormous amounts of money on content for our Island that we now keep in inventory because it cant all be used without hurting our land and our patrons.

I guess my expectations were too high, it’s come at a cost - the loss of money in US dollars, the loss of faith in this “bleeding edge” technology, the loss of trust in those I thought had our best interests - as their customer - at heart.

Amusing, someone who had been an escort in our club and had quit once because they were getting “married” and then returned to us, and failed yet again to do the 7 hours a week requirement, so was removed from the group - returned to our club last night.

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It had become obvious that some of our dancers were moving in different directions than the one we at O&E were on, and as we’d already mentioned to them all in a group notice, there was an expectation that they would spend a minimum of 7 hours a week in the club.  For a few months i’d let people know their stats, and asked the people that weren’t making the grade to contact me to find ways of increasing their times or to think about resigning and letting someone else have the much covetted role of “O&E Dancer”. Pips had retired, she hadn’t been dancing for months and it was obvious after their wedding that Nevar wasn’t spending as much time either, which was perfectly natural, i’m sure they had more horizonal dancing to do that wiggling for a bunch of strangers in a club!…. Nevar IM’d me and told me that he’d decided to resign also, we hugged and of course while he’s a huge loss to us, his life goes in a different direction and our life at the club cant stop because of that. It was purely a business decision and didn’t/doesn’t effect our friendship in anyway.

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